August 2011
1 post
July 2011
2 posts
Smart Ass(hole): Star Wars Edition
[via reddit]
May 2011
1 post
Well Played Asshole. Well Played.
April 2011
5 posts
How An Asshole Gets Back At His Landlord
How An Asshole Throws A Party
Anyone Else Remember These?
How An Asshole Wakes Up His Girl
March 2011
16 posts
How An Asshole Saves Lives
Well done sir. I bet that kid that ducked away from the foul ball that hit his girl feels like a real douche right about now.
An Original Asshole Turns 80 Today
Happy Birthday William Shatner!
2009 Called Asshole →
How An Asshole Gets A Six-Pack
I'm Feeling Like A Generous Asshole Right Now
1. Buy my book right here.
2. Forward confirmation of purchase to aholeology [@] gmail.com.
3. Get a free gift.
Tucker Max Thinks He Is The Bigger A**hole...Wait,...
Tucker Max Has a Few Strong Feelings on A**holeology from HHR on Vimeo.
An Award For The Asshole In Your Life
Check out more ass wards here.
Assholes Should Stare At Breasts. It's Good For...
How To Dump Your Family [In Four Easy Steps]
An Early Halloween Idea
How To Respond When Someone Calls You An Asshole
You Sexted The Wrong Person. Here Is What To Do...
You Sexted The Wrong Person from Chris Illuminati on Vimeo.
When Assholes Write Fortune Cookies
February 2011
16 posts
WatchFrom my NYC appearance, the 8 reasons Mother Nature is a real asshole.
Jack From Titanic Was A Real Asshole
You Messed With The Wrong Ducklings Asshole
Brilliant Observation Asshole
How An Asshole Makes a Point -- On Facebook
How An Asshole Celebrates Valentine's Day
10 Fake Musical Acts That REALLY Deserve Grammy...
Michael Jackson (From The Simpsons)
Sonic Death Monkey (AKA Barry Jive and the Uptown Five)
Free Credit Score Band
Timmy and The Lords Of The Underworld
Fuck You Yankee Blue Jeans
CB4
Scrantonicity
Brick Springhorn and the Tenth Avenue Band (from the Transformers comic book)
Uptown Girl
Sexual Chocolate
This Is How An Asshole Reads From His Own Book
When Assholes Mess With The Morning News
This Asshole Has A Point
About Signed Books
This handsome young fella got in line early!
Many people have been asking about me signing their books after they buy them and what’s the easiest way to do it. So, I finally sat down and thought of an easy way to do it. Yippee for me.
1. Send $10 to my via Paypal at cilluminati [@] gmail [dot] com. This will cover a book and mailing charges.
2. In the notes section of PayPal give me...
January 2011
11 posts
What Playboy Valentine's Perfume Probably Smells...
Hefner’s Pajama Crotch
Old Valentines candy and self-tanning cream
Virginia Baked Ham
The water in the grotto after a Playboy party
The broken dreams of pretty young girls
Kendra’s Farts
When Your Dog Acts Like An Asshole
What Happens When You Share A Secret With An...
How Assholes Got Laid In The Old Days
Ricky Gervais Is One Funny Asshole
Jets and Patriots Asshole Contest
Ok, the guesses are in, and here we go…
@GX5 - Patriots 47 @oldwhitedude - Patriots 47 @dmrebber - Patriots 56 @jaredcastle- Patriots 42 @xianrules - Patriots 41 @chrispwalsh - Patriots 35 @cocoanilla - Jets 31 @alpha_sahd - Patriots 65 @nicholasKruger- Patriots 58 @selectajerry - Patriots 48
And Cocoanilla with the ONLY guess going for the Jets. They win, no matter score, free book to...
10 A**hole Moves You Can Only Get Away With in...
10 A**hole Moves You Can Only Get Away With in College
An Asshole Discusses The Homeless Dude With The...
Let me say something about the Homeless voice guy. He once WAS an announcer. He lost his job because of drugs and alcohol and eventually became homeless. It’s not as if this dude was always a bum and was “discovered” by luck. It’s like if Josh Hamilton stayed a druggie and one day threw a baseball through a windshield at an intersection. GET THAT MAN A BASEBALL...
When Assholes Apply Bumper Stickers